Long overdue! So, what's in store for 2013?

Hey guys!

I hope you all had an amazing holiday season! I ended up dealing with a few health hiccups over the holidays, here's an overview:
Dec. 23rd - Found a lump in my right breast. We have a huge family history of breast cancer. I panic.
Dec. 24th - Went to my GP, she said she didn't think it was cancer, but one of the symptoms other than the lump, raised a red flag. She said I could possibly have a brain tumor. Scheduling person was out of office, had to wait until the 26th to schedule an MRI and a breast ultrasound.

The ultrasound came back clean, no cancer. The MRI, on the other hand, showed a "fullness" in my pituitary. I have to see an endocrinologist, because I probably have a microadenoma. Lovely.

Fast forward to 10 days ago. I was walking down the stairs to go outside and get the mail, when Codi, my mum's Dachshund, got underfoot. I managed to miss the last two steps and land full weight on my left foot, and my ankle rolled. I felt things snap. My ankle immediately began to swell and I was in terrible pain. I called my stepdad to take me to hospital, but he was busy picking up my siblings, so I had to drive myself! At the ED, I was seen by a doc who thinks I'm a drug seeker. They only gave me Percocet and Vistaril, which barely took the edge off. After x-rays, a questionable visual exam, and medication, they discharged me with nothing more than a bag of ice.

I spent the weekend in agony, walking on my horribly mangled foot/ankle. On Monday morning I saw my GP and told her of my miserable hospital treatment, and she pulled up the records from my ED trip. Turns out I was supposed to be discharged in a splint and on crutches! I agreed to the splint, but since I'd been walking on it, I said to hell with the crutches. Over the rest of the week, the bruising began to fade, but the swelling persisted. Finally, this morning my mum called every orthopaedist she could find, to try and get someone to see me. She found one, and I went to my appointment right after she picked up my x-rays from the hospital. Turns out that the splint my GP had given me was insufficient in stabilizing my ankle. I am now stuck in a fancy Aircast until they tell me I can take it off. Joy. I will post an update soon with pictures of the evolution of my ankle, from right after the injury to whatever day I post.

As for why I was MIA for almost 8 months: 
Basically, I was used by a money grubbing idiot to scam an insurance company.
I got into a car accident in July of 2010. Some woman tried to beat a red light, I happened to be making a left turn, cars collided. About a year and a half later, someone shows up at our door and serves my mum and I a summons. The woman who hit me was suing us for $75,000. Because of this, I had to make my Facebook private, keep my Twitter posts vague, and shut down my blog. It sucked, I wanted to vent about this horrible woman and what she was doing to me and my family, but I had to keep quiet. She claimed she was disabled now, was owed emotional damages and back pay, etc. When we asked for her medical records, it showed she had a TON of pre-existing conditions. She had ignored the doctor's suggestion of PT and went to a chiropractor instead. She was on hardcore narcotics, like Fentanyl and Suboxone PRIOR to the accident! I was livid, she was making up lies! My theory is that she saw the new car (a gift for graduating high school from my parents) and that I was young (22 at the time of the accident) and saw easy money.

In November, the woman agreed to settle. She got $12,500. The law failed me. As for her inability to work and permanent disability? She now works in a coffee shop, which requires standing all day, and she attended/worked the 2012 Renaissance Festival. Basically, she flat out lied...And they paid her for it. Honestly, I'm just glad it's over. I want to forget.

New things in store for Falling Apart At The Seams this year:

• Product reviews! I'm going to try to find companies with useful products for those of us with limitations.
•  Giveaways! I'll be trying to get companies to donate products for me to give away. All will be geared towards disability, comfort, and assistance items.

So, in the famous words of Porky Pig; "Th-Th-Th- That's All Folks!"

-Jess

Chasing Ghosts

I have spent the past three days chasing ghosts.
On Tuesday I went in to the doctor, because the pain in my feet was getting really bad, and the bruising and swelling was freaking me out. The original options for diagnosis were: swelling related to my old surgery sites or vascular insufficiency. The doc took xrays just in case.

Later that day I get an alarmed call from the doc saying the radiologist found stress fractures in my feet. Their scheduler was out of office for the day, so I had to wait until Wednesday to call back and schedule an MRI.

I had the MRI yesterday, and today the results came in. Turns out the original radiologist confused my old surgical sites for fractures on the films. MRI cleared that up and also pointed out the reason for the pain/bruising/swelling. Turns out I have a really severe case of tendinitis/tendinosis.

Just my luck.

Long Time No See.

Let's just say my new year has been... rough.

Both of my dogs had procedures under anesthesia on Jan. 25th.
On Valentine's Day, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to put Oscar to sleep.
I have been to Mayo multiple times, and my body has just not been my friend.

That's not everything, but I don't feel like diving too deep right now.

I will be posting again soon, I promise!

Employed?

I may have just acquired the most bizarre, yet amazing job ever. Will be going tomorrow to register as a business, just so I can get access to certain things for now. Probably going to have to put my product review blog idea on the back burner and start a second blog about my work.

It's nothing you'll ever expect.

Be prepared.

Super Thankful Thanksgiving, Family Friends Lose Everything In Thanksgiving Eve House Fire

On the eve of Thanksgiving, some family friends were at home when a smoke alarm went off. They managed to call 911 and get out, however their dogs were trapped inside. The house burnt to the ground.

Video of the fire.

Photos of the fire.

This morning, they were sifting through the rubble when they found both dogs, alive, in the basement! However, everything else in the house was lost. The family has three kids, all still in school. Here's a link on how you can help, including a number you can call if you'd like to make a monetary donation:

Help the Haslett-Marroquin family.

Pass their story along to as many people as you can!
Thanks!

The House of Broken Bones + Update

That's what it's been around here recently, and it has me fearing for my bones!

On Tuesday my little brother and some of his friends built a catapult at school and were launching gourds. My little brother happened to be looking at the launcher when someone jumped on it, launching a gourd into his face. After some discussion, my mom and sister stayed home while my dad and I went to the ER with my brother. After pushing for an xray, it showed my brother's nose was broken. He's probably going to have an appointment with the ENT soon.

Meanwhile, my mom has had back problems for years. She finally made an appointment with a spine specialist and had her appointment today. Turns out she's had a broken back for years. She'll need surgery soon. So obviously I'm a little worried about who's next!

As for me, I took a pole dancing class yesterday and I have pole burn, bruises, and so many pulled muscles today.

STOLEN! FAQ

First off, to those of you sent here via Twitter, either from Neil Gaiman's feed or someone else's, welcome!

Now, I've gotten some questions about my previous post, and I will answer the most common ones here.


Q: Why didn't you file a police report?
A: First off, I didn't discover that my games had been stolen until several weeks later, as I had decided I was going to take a break from playing my DS for a while. Second, we are under Sheriff's department jurisdiction, and they're not so nice about small thefts like this, unfortunately.

Q: Why not just use an emulator?
A: Because I like having physical copies of the game. My DS is portable, easier to use, and made for these games. I don't want to have to use a computer to play it.

Q: Why not just buy new copies of the games and use Action Replay to get your stuff back?
A: I don't really have the cash to buy $150+ worth of games again, and using Action Replay is not only cheating, it can also damage the games, as it is not a liscenced Nintendo product. I got the games originally for the challenge and fun of working towards the goals in them, I'm not going to cheat just to catch up.


If you have any other questions, feel free to email me at: jelsen@hotmail.com

Getting A Wheelchair

Apparently I have hit that bump in the road known as, "Time to get a wheelchair".
I have no idea what i'm in for, so if you have any advice/suggestions/recommendations, let me know.

It scares the fudge outta me :/

The Outdoors Love to Find New and Inventive Ways to Hurt Me.

Today I decided i'd had enough of laying in bed doing nothing, so I got up and prepped to go outside. I changed into more appropriate clothing and slathered on the sunscreen, then headed out the door with my net and bucket.

You see, even at 22, I still love to play in the muck. Two days ago I took my little brother tadpole hunting, and we'd started a little mini pond in a kiddie pool in our backyard. Today I wanted to go by myself so I would get to do it my way. We have at least four ponds and a river down the path by our house, so I headed out. I left my shoes home, as I didn't want to get them wet. This is where I screwed up. You see, it was 73 and sunny today, and the blacktop was extremely hot. I walked down to the river, caught soom minnows, then stopped at a couple of spots by the closest pond to catch tadpoles before heading home. I'd noticed my feet kind of hurt on my way TO the river, and by the time I was headed back home, I knew how big of a mistake i'd made.

I am now the proud owner of 2nd degree burns on both feet. I have 3 blisters that are larger than a half-dollar, and 5 more that are dime sized or less. I can't really walk and I'm attempting to use blister bandaids to cushion them. Did I mention that Becca and I will be attending a concert on July 1st? I hope these heal fast!

Dealing with my SECOND animal crisis this year, or, how owning a Dachshund is EXPENSIVE.

I swear, I'm cursed as far as animals go.

Last Thursday, I took my mini doxie, Oscar, to the vet. I'd found green discarge on his penis, he yelped when touched near his back end, and I worried he had a sheath infection. So off to the vet, who examines him, tries to get a urine sample (no dice) and then informs me that he's got some weakness in his back end. Okay, that was not what I was expecting. She put him on metacam and told me to call back on Monday to talk about how he's doing. Okay.

Cue Friday night. I go out to bring Oscar in (he loves the outdoors, and so he plays in the back yard during the day) and can't find him. I eventually do, hiding in the garage. I try to get him out of his hiding spot, and he starts screaming and biting me. I lost it and started sobbing, partially out of shock, pain, and knowing something is horribly wrong. I bring him inside and set him down. He attempts to go lay down, but his back legs are not cooperating. My mind reels, and I know that this is the start of a bad thing.

I calm myself enough to call the vet's office. It's 7:30pm on a Friday night, but the vet has his personal cell phone number left on the voicemail for emergencies. I call and explain what happened. He reassures me that Oscar will be fine until Monday, continue with his meds, and then tells me to take care of my wounds (Oscar broke the skin in several places when he bit me) fine.

Today comes, and I call the vet's office. I tell them Oscar has deteriorated significantly since Thursday. I ask for the soonest appointment, and it's set for 1pm. The time comes, and I load Oscar into the car, still in his bed. We get there and Dr. Rich examines him. I know what's coming, every Dachshund owner's worst nightmare, the prospect of Intervertebral Disc Disease. I voice my fears to Dr. Rich, and he agrees xrays are in order to see where the problem is.

On a bit of a side note, Dr. Rich knows I want to be a vet, and that I'm currently trying for my Animal Science degree. Because of this, he always keeps me 100% in the loop, and consults with me on care and such. He treats me like not only a customer and pet parent, but also a colleague. I see all test results, and we discuss them together. So when Oscar's xrays came back, we took a look, and though being closer to the brightness of the backlight and having a harder time seeing it originally, the problem was plain as day from my vantage point. A narrowing of the space between the L1 and L2 vertebrae. Classic IVDD.

My world collapsed a little. I knew what this meant. Oscar would need aggressive treatment if he was to regain the function he'd lost. Surgery is the best option, but unfortunately, I don't have $3000 to do that. That left only one option, steroids. We discussed outcomes and quality of life, agreeing that if he was in pain constantly, euthanasia would be the best option, but obviously we'd try what we could first. Dr. Rich said at one point that he'd like to try doing a lamenectomy sometime at their clinic. Obviously he's not a specialist, but he'd assisted on a few in vet school.

So it was that Oscar is now on steroids, in hopes he'll rally and all we'll have to do is modify what he can and cannot do, and he'll live a long, happy doxie life. Second best outcome is he'll only need a cart, and will live paralyzed but pain free. Worst outcome is he'll get worse and be in immense pain, at which point the decision will be to put him to sleep so he doesn't suffer. My mom and I talked about it, and if it comes to that point, we will offer Oscar to Dr. Rich to attempt a lamenectomy on, depending on how much it would cost. Obviously he's no expert, and hasn't ever done one himself, hasn't assisted on one in years, but if there's no other option, we'd at least give him a chance.

For now Oscar is confined to the laundry room, carried outside to go potty, and his activity is kept to a minimum. He's on prednisolone and tramadol, so every eight hours I shove a tramadol down his throat, and twice a day I do the same with the steroids. It's a pain in the ass, but I love him and would therefore do anything for him. All people entering the house are told to, under no circumstances, touch or otherwise engage the dog. Thankfully my mom and step-dad have been helping with potty breaks so that I get a break. All in all, I'm terrified, I can't lose my best buddy, I've already lost one animal that meant a ton to me this year, I don't want to lose another.

And that's been my life recently.
Prayers and healing thoughts would be much appreciated.
I hope things are going better for the rest of you.

An Update, and A Call For Prayers

First, let's talk about me. It's been almost two weeks since I posted about the Cymbalta incident, and I am still feeling the effects of that. Thankfully they are almost non-existent, but every once in a while, I notice.

I went through a very rough period after the Cymbalta incident. It seemed as if all of my medications had stopped working, and the pain was impossible to ignore, and I was not able to cope. I saw my PCP about it, and he went through his ideas for treatment with me. Most of them were medications I had previously tried that had no effect. Then he suggested raising my prednisone dose, which I told him the Mayo Rheumatologist did NOT want happening, so that was out. Finally he suggested that maybe my issues were from lack of sleep, as I hadn't slept well in months. He prescribed Valium to try and help me sleep (I can't do most actual sleep meds) and hoped that would help, otherwise we'd be back at square one.

The first couple of nights didn't work, I was taking the Valium, plus Unisom and Melatonin to try to get sleep. No dice. The third night I discont'd the Melatonin, and switched from Unisom SleepGels (diphenhydramine) to Unisom SleepTabs (doxylamine). That night I slept like a rock, had multiple dreams, and woke up the next day in complete awe of what a good night sleep could do. I hadn't felt that good in YEARS. I had energy, felt like doing things, and though I had some minor aches, they weren't even bad enough to warrant an ibuprofen. I have been feeling pretty good since, and I really hope it continues.


Now for the prayer request.
I've written about my friend Becca a few times, I met her last summer in pain rehab at the Mayo Clinic. She was diagnosed at 4 with Primary Sclerosing Colangitis. She's had two liver transplants, but is currently in need of a third. I went to visit her at the beginning of April. The first day and a half of my visit she was doing okay, and we enjoyed a wonderful warm day out. On my third day, her nausea was so overwhelming that I took her to the hospital. She was admitted, and has basically been in ever since. She was released for a day or so, only to transfer from one hospital to another that has a liver transplant clinic. She is not doing very well. Her nausea is such that she can barely eat, and they are considering putting in a feeding tube. Her quality of life right now is not so great, and I worry about her quite a bit. She is only 23 years old, and one of the most genuinely kind, caring people I have ever met. Even as sick as she is, she makes origami for other patients, and talks with them. So if you could spare a prayer, a thought, or even just some healing vibes and send them her way, that would be great.


Hope you are all well.
-Jess

Missing Meds: The effects doctors don't warn you about.

Cymbalta.
According to Wikipedia, "Duloxetine (sold under the brand names Cymbalta, Ariclaim, Xeristar, Yentreve) is a serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor manufactured and marketed by Eli Lilly. It is effective for major depressive disorder and has been shown to be as effective as venlafaxine for generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). Duloxetine alleviates pain associated with diabetic neuropathy and fibromyalgia."


True. Doctors have been pushing Cymbalta on people since it came on the market. I personally ended up on Cymbalta after the councilor I was seeing for some various family and depression issues, suggested I speak with my psychiatrist about changing medications, as he believed my Sertraline (brand name Zoloft) had become ineffective.

So I saw my psychiatrist. She agreed a med switch may make things a little easier, and suggested I go on Cymbalta. I agreed, as I had no reason to doubt her judgement. At that time she also told me she'd like to see me back in three months, but she would be switching clinics. I agreed to follow her to the new clinic.

Fast forward to Friday, April 29th. I was on my last pill of a 3 month supply. I had forgotten to make the appointment with my psychiatrist, and there were no refills on my medication. Drat. Since I'd never previously had any problem skipping a few days of meds, I decided to wait until Monday to call. Friday was also the day I went to the horse expo with my roommate, we walked three miles, and I horribly overdid things. That night I started feeling sick.

By Saturday, my sleep patterns were a bit messed up, and I was having some light dizziness and nausea. I attributed all of that to my time spent at expo. Sunday the dizziness and nausea were worse, and I could not sleep for the life of me. Every muscle felt tense and my brain felt hyperaware of the dizziness. By Monday night, I'd had enough. At 10:30pm my roommate and I took off for the emergency room. At this time I was still attributing things to my overdoing it at expo. They gave me zofran for the nausea, it did nothing. Tramadol for the pain, more nothing. They finally gave me a shot of domperidone, and that took care of the nausea. At this point, I was exhausted, but also felt like every nerve and muscle in my body was on full alert and wide awake. By the time we got home at 2am, I still couldn't sleep.

Tuesday I woke up and felt fine for the first 30 minutes of being awake, and then it all hit me at once. Dizziness, nausea, blurred vision, brain fog, hyperaware nerves, insomnia, tremors, confusion, "zaps", profuse sweating, feeling flushed, vertigo, irritability, aggression, anxiety, headache, lethargy, nightmares, extreme muscle tension. You name the symptom. I had it. I felt like I was dying. It was while looking through my pill bottles for something, ANYTHING that might work, that I came across my empty Cymbalta bottle. It was then that I put two and two together. I googled Cymbalta withdrawal. The things I read were horrific, and yet so familiar. I was never warned about any of it.

My problems did not stop there, however. I could not get my medication refilled until Wednesday, since they would have to call in to the clinic I went to. Wednesday my symptoms had increased yet again, and I was in a constant haze. My mom called me at 7:30pm saying they had my meds, and I drove the forty-five minutes home to get them. I took one at 8pm. I returned to my apartment by 9:30 and decided to have dinner. BAD IDEA. The nausea, which had been just barely tolerable, became impossible to ignore. By 11:30pm I felt so awful that I called my mother in tears, pleading for her to make it stop. After that call, I went back to my bed, across from my soundly sleeping roommate, and spent the next hour trying not to vomit.

Thankfully, at 12:30am, the medication seemed to have entered my system, and the nausea backed off enough for me to fall into a fitful sleep. I woke up at 6am and took all my medications, including a zofran. Now that the day is wearing on, and I have had 60mg of Cymbalta in my system, I am feeling much more human. Still slightly dizzy, a tiny bit nauseous, and I have a headache, but I will take that over everything I had yesterday.

So take this story as a warning, and ask your doctor if any new medications he or she prescribes to you have side effects and or cessation effects. I wish I had know, maybe I wouldn't have had to suffer.

Goodbye, you obnoxious little brat.

Today I lost a dear, dear friend.

I received a call at 8:50am today. That time is burned into my mind. My friend Lori, whose house my horse is boarded at, was on the phone. She said that this morning, as they went to check on a horse of theirs, Diamond, who was in the process of dying, they'd found my horse pawing violently at the ground. She was colicking.

I told Lori I was going to finish up with chores at the place I was watching, as I was taking care of 4 horses, 2 dogs, and 8 or so cats, and then I would be out. Immediately after I got up, some unseen force urged me to skip chores and go, so I did.

I was not prepared for the sight that awaited me. As I got out of my car and walked into the yard, I noticed several things. First, my friend Lori, her daughter Ginger, who is also my friend, the vet, and the vet's assistant had all been crying. Second, I saw my sweet girl; She was trembling violently from head to hoof, breathing heavily, sweaty and caked with mud. There was a tube in her nose that went down into her stomach, which occasionally spewed gastric contents onto the ground. The vet's assistant was pressing a towel to my girl's nose, as it was bleeding.

After a talk with the vet, spending some time walking my girl around the yard, and talking with my parents, we decided the best thing was euthanasia. As the vet and her assistant prepared everything, Cocoa made her decision. She lay down on the ground, onto her side. Her breathing became ragged and her eyes closed. She was done fighting. The vet slid a catheter into her neck, and moments later, injected the solution that ended her suffering. They checked for a heartbeat once, twice. My dear friend was gone.

The vet's assistant pulled her forelock into a ponytail, and with a few snips of her shears, it was off, my last memento of a fallen friend. But it was only to get worse. The vet then moved on to getting Diamond ready for her her journey over the bridge. Diamond was sedated and brought into the yard, away from Cocoa to keep her from panicking. As my friends said their goodbyes, the vet helped Diamond on as well. And so it was that in the span of an hour, two sweet friends were gone, and three hearts were left broken.

And so may my obnoxious, bratty, naughty little pony rest in peace, her time with me too short.

I Survived.

Surgery was complication free, and I was discharged soon after. 

That's right, I didn't have to stay overnight, no crazy crud to deal with. My nose is drippy and gross, and my throat hurts like nobody's business, but I'm alive. 

Thanks for all of the well wishes, they definitely helped :)

TMI WARNING! My First Waxing Experience

Today I had an appointment to have my hair cut. I drove myself, and my family had appointments soon after. While I was getting my hair cut, my mother and siblings arrived. When I was finished, my mom asked me if I wanted my eyebrows waxed. I've never had waxing done before, but I decided to go for it, however, I wanted to try something a little more adventurous. I asked for the prices of a bikini wax and a brazilian, while my mom looked at me like I had three heads. Mom agreed to let me get a brazilian, but only if I got my eyebrows waxed, too.

My aesthetician was a lovely woman, very kind. She set me up for an eyebrow wax first. It really wasn't painful at all, just a bit uncomfortable. It took very little time, and then they were done. While she set up for the brazilian, I took the opportunity to pee, seeing as I wasn't going to be able to for at least a half hour, and I had downed a complimentary Coke during my haircut. The brazilian itself was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I'd seen videos on YouTube of women screaming during their first brazilian. I didn't scream, but of course that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. The middle patch is the worst, and my eyes started watering a bit with that one. It helps to do deep breathing, and to relax instead of tensing up when the strips are removed.

I lost track of time, and before I knew it, she was done, and I was given the go-ahead to clean up and get dressed. It was a very professional experience, and at no point was I uncomfortable with continuing. If it wasn't so expensive, I'd consider going back.

To think, my day isn't even over yet... xD

Costochondritis...Hurts Like Hell

That was today's diagnosis.

For the past week, it's felt like someone was trying to rip out my sternum. This morning, I went to reach for a med bottle and was basically rendered breathless by a sharp ouchie feeling in my chest. I said enough is enough, and made an appointment at the clinic (the sister clinic of my PCP's office in a neighboring city, and the only one that has weekend hours) and went in. Oddly enough, after I was checked in, someone said hello and my name. It turns out one of the nurses from my PCP's office was having her daughter seen for a sinus infection. Small world.

So I finally see the doc, and he actually knows about EDS and understands. He examined me, even brought in a nurse when he had to check my sternum! I was impressed. He told me what was up, and wrote everything down for me. I basically have to breathe deep, take pain meds so I can, and rest with heat or ice on my chest. I can do that. It's nice to have a solid answer.

And that's my day so far.

Sick again, oh joy!

Wednesday my roommate, myself, and a friend of ours went to the Mall of America. We had a pretty good time, then went to Old Country Buffet for dinner. I went to bed content.

Thursday morning I wake up early to work on a project, and upon waking, I realize I have a sore throat and no voice. Emailed my professor that I couldn't do my speech, then went back to bed. I slept on and off for a good 36 hours.

Friday I missed class, slept more. That night I was feeling super crappy, so I went to my parents' house for the weekend. I was running a fever, totally out of it, with a laundry list of symptoms.

This morning I went to the doc. Verdict? Sinus infection. Since I've only been sick two days, he said it was probably viral, then gave me a list of over the counter crap to take. So far I haven't slept in almost 24 hours due to the fever hot/cold issue, plus my arthritis acting up on top of it all. I'm hoping this goes away soon :/ I'm already super behind on schoolwork, I don't need to get any further behind!

Also, in my previous post I linked to some wishlists. Don't worry, I'm not soliciting anything from anyone, I just thought it'd be fun to put them up, thinking maybe a friend would surprise me with something. Sorry if I offended anyone!

Record breaking low pressure system in the Midwest...Help!

I feel like I'm being ripped apart.
Since last night, the weather has been getting progressively worse. The temperature has dropped from near 70°F over the weekend, to 39°F this afternoon. It's raining with the occasional ice crystals. The wind is insane, and we are under a high wind warning until 7pm tomorrow. The lowest pressure point in this system is currently over Minnesota...Where I happen to reside. Crap.

I guess it's time to cuddle up under a pile of blankets and avoid the outdoors.

Oh, and if anyone is interested in enhancing my warm, comfort time, feel free to check out:

My ThinkGeek.com MN weather wishlist

And in case I don't post again before it, Happy Halloween :)

Mayo Clinic Pain Rehab Center 3 week program, Unofficial Day 3, Official First Day

Thursday
Day 1: Evaluation
Friday
Day 2: More eval, then testing the waters by going to group.
-Weekend spent at home-
Monday
Day 3 (Official Day 1): Day starts with team meeting. We set our goals for the day. After only 2 1/2 hours of sleep the night before, my goal for the day was to stay awake. Follow meeting by morning stretching. OT afterwards. At 10am I had my Biofeedback appointment, it went well. 11am was group again, the topic was okay. Lunch was at 12, had a pretty good time just sitting around talking with everyone. After lunch was group 2. After group 2 was group therapy. Last event of the day was hearing from some program graduates.

Honestly, so far, my favorite part of this program is being completely understood. Not having to explain everything. Being in a room full of people who know what I'm going through.

Still recovering from my crash, not 100%, but getting there.
Thank you all for your well wishes and support!

Being hit at 35+ mph is a terrifying and painful experience.

It was Thursday, July 1st. I was on my way to my orthodontist to pick up my retainers. I was literally blocks away. I was making a left turn, the light was green. I checked and rechecked for oncoming traffic - Nothing. I started to turn, and out of nowhere, I was hit. The main and side curtain airbags deployed. It took a second for the pain to hit. The car was full of smoke, the horn was blaring. The minute my airbags deployed, my car began contacting OnStar (thank you, GM). The crash had happened directly in front of a police cruiser. He turned on his lights and called for backup. The OnStar call went through. Was I okay? No. Did I need an ambulance? Yes. At that time, the officer opened my door. Was I okay? No. Did I know what happened? Sort of. I asked if I could call my mom. Did I have a phone? Yes. Could I reach it? Yes. I called my mother, hysterical. I told her I was in a crash. She asked if I was okay. I said no. Then I had to hang up. OnStar woman said she would contact police and rescue. Officer told her they were already there. He asked for my ID if I could get it. I shakily removed my wallet from my pocket and handed it to him. I told him about my EDS. He told me to stay calm, but people would be coming and asking the same questions. Told me not to move my head.

The next few minutes are hazy. Fire rescue inspected my car for fire, shut off the horn. Began scattering cat litter to absorb the fluids draining from my engine. A fireman came and asked the same questions as the police officer. Officer came back and asked where my insurance info was. Glove box. He said he'd get it. Then the medics arrived. Asked me my name. Suddenly someone was behind me, and they put a C-collar around my neck. They asked me what hurt. Neck, head, back, shoulder, chest, arm. I had been reflexively cradling my arm since just after the impact. Was I trapped? No. Did I think I could walk? Maybe. The police officer and a medic helped me out of the car. I made the dazed walk to the ambulance.

More questions, from medics and the officer. I was sobbing, pain, fear, terror, they all contributed. I was laid on a backboard. Buckled in. The ambulance moved to a parking lot to let traffic flow again. They started an IV. More questions. Poking and prodding. Does this hurt? Yes. An ice pack was put on my arm. Morphine was given. I made sure they had gotten my glasses and iPod from my car. I carefully removed my EDS info card and handed it to her. Informed her that I metabolize morphine very quickly. She game me more as it wore off. Made sure I was comfortable. Pulse ox, BP cuff. What hospital was I to be transported to? I gave her the name of the one connected to my orthopedist's hospital. We were en route.

Time passed, hazy for me. Dizzy, confused, in pain. We arrived. I was brought in to the ER, transferred over to a bed. More questions. My family had arrived before me, and they were brought in. I was relieved. More medications, Dilauded, Valium, things I can't remember. Blankets, a new ice pack. Then they threatened to cut off my clothing. Regardless of my current state, I refused. I loved the shirt I was wearing. The nurse agreed to attempt to remove it sans scissors. It worked. X-rays. Nothing broken. C-collar and backboard removed. Finally allowed a glass of water. Percocet given. A second gown to cover my back, and a trip to the bathroom before leaving. The morphine had caused urinary retention (I've dealt with this many times before) so I asked to be cathed before leaving. That done, I was finally free to go, prescriptions for percocet and valium in hand, right arm in a sling.

Final diagnoses? Whiplash, concussion, severe bone bruising over collarbone and sternum. Bruises on chest, hips, legs. muscle strain/injury in shoulders, right being more severe. wrist sprain. And what I considered one of the worst injuries? a 4" second degree burn from the deploying airbag on my right arm.

It's been 3 days, I am still in considerable pain and can't do much at all. I get to endure daily bandage changes on my burned arm. I can't sleep at night due to my chest bruises/pain. I get dizzy and nauseated if I am up for too long/move too much due to my concussion. My muscles are extremely tense, and I have to wear a sling and wrist brace if I am going to be doing anything where I can't keep my arm and shoulder relaxed and supported.

As for my car? She was a 2010 Pontiac Vibe, gorgeous black with a sunroof and amazing sound system. She is now a partially twisted pile of metal in a towing yard. We think she may be totaled, but that is for the insurance adjuster to decide.

I am also terrified to drive now, and have been very panicky as a passenger in cars. I know it could've been worse, and I should be thankful, but it still kills me inside.