What's Up?

So I figured I'd post a little update for now until I can get some real content added. Recently I've been just overall run down, so not feeling too great. So here's some stuff that is going on in my life:

-I have to make an appointment for yet another sleep study
-I was once again denied SSI
-I've been tired constantly
-I adopted a second dog

and last but not least, some big news! In the coming months, I will be moving. Literally dropping everything and starting over in not only a new city, but a whole new state. I will be moving across the country to the East Coast, leaving all of my friends and family behind. I will be moving into a house with a friend of mine. She and her boyfriend will literally be the only people I know there. It's a big deal, this is the first time in my life I will be somewhere where I can't just drive to my parents' house if I need to. My family has also told me that if this falls through, I am entirely on my own, and they will not be helping me. There has been a lot of fighting and love lost between my mother and I recently. It truly feels like she doesn't love me like she loves my siblings, and that my being disabled is a burden to her. She's actually told me to do things around the house she knows I can't do, and that I'm not doing enough, when physically I can't! She should know better than anyone, but instead she's just as bad as the people who tell me I shouldn't park in handicapped spaces because I don't look disabled. It hurts. I've told my family that I will not be returning, or visiting. If they are going to treat me like I don't belong, then I'm done with them. I look forward to taking my dogs, my cats, and my things and moving forward with my life. I deserve to be happy, so I'm making a change. I will update again soon with a few interesting topics, including a post about my new corset!

Until then,
-Jess

Employed?

I may have just acquired the most bizarre, yet amazing job ever. Will be going tomorrow to register as a business, just so I can get access to certain things for now. Probably going to have to put my product review blog idea on the back burner and start a second blog about my work.

It's nothing you'll ever expect.

Be prepared.

Super Thankful Thanksgiving, Family Friends Lose Everything In Thanksgiving Eve House Fire

On the eve of Thanksgiving, some family friends were at home when a smoke alarm went off. They managed to call 911 and get out, however their dogs were trapped inside. The house burnt to the ground.

Video of the fire.

Photos of the fire.

This morning, they were sifting through the rubble when they found both dogs, alive, in the basement! However, everything else in the house was lost. The family has three kids, all still in school. Here's a link on how you can help, including a number you can call if you'd like to make a monetary donation:

Help the Haslett-Marroquin family.

Pass their story along to as many people as you can!
Thanks!

Help Me Win Some Toys For My Pups!

I entered Mika in a contest to win $200 in toys and gift cards, because we could really use it. If you feel like helping, here's how:

1. Follow the link: http://www.facebook.com/dogster?sk=app_285858081435238&app_data=1926
2. Allow the app
3. Repost the following on your blog & facebook:

Help Mika win a stash of bones in the Dogster/Doggyloot.com contest! All you have to do is follow the link, allow the app, and vote on Mika's picture, titled "Pizzletastic!", then pass this note on to your Blog & Facebook friends if you'd like! Thanks so much!
http://www.facebook.com/dogster?sk=app_285858081435238&app_da ta=1926

-----------------------

We'd really appreciate the help, she's currently in 11th place!

Poll For EDS, Chronic Pain, Arthritis, And Fibromyalgia Sufferers! Please Pass It Along, The More Opinions, The Better!

I am thinking about starting a second blog to review and suggest helpful products for EDS/Arthritis/Fibro/Chronic Pain, but before I take the plunge, I'd like your opinions. If you could please take the survey below, and then pass it on to anyone you know who suffers from chronic pain and ask if they could take it, that would be awesome! It's only a few questions and should take only a few seconds to complete.

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world's leading questionnaire tool.

Thanks so much, and I hope to give back!

Welcome to the family, Mika!

After three years of nagging, I was finally allowed to get another dog. Oscar is frequently bored and lonely, and could definitely use a companion, and my siblings wanted another dog, too.

After being rejected by one rescue over false info they refused to clarify, we finally found a good fit with a dog from Midwest Animal Rescue and Services!

So here she is!

Name: Mika
Breed: Chihuahua
Age: 11 months (we're putting her birthday at October 31st, 2010)
Weight: 9 pounds!
Color: Fawn with a couple dark patches on her tail and bum, and white toe socks

She is amazingly cute, you can learn more about her here:

#1 dog site for dogs & bipeds!

Also, I don't really have the cash to get her any cute outfits, and she's going to need them, as it's starting to get cold around here. So if you have any doggie outfits in size Medium, or other accessories that you no longer want/need, send me an email at jelsen@hotmail.com, because they'd be of great use to us!

I leave you with a video of Mika playing with a toad

STOLEN! Update

So, we gave up on the recovery of my original games. They are long gone. However, my parents have been kind enough to replace the games I lost. Now I just have to get the items and Pokemon I lost back. I will post the list again, and if you're willing to trade or can help in any way, please contact jelsen@hotmail.com

Thanks for the help and support!

Pokemon:
Celebi
Shiny Suicune (from B/W gamestop event)
Shiny Raikou (from B/W gamestop event)
Shiny Entei (from B/W gamestop event)
Spiky Pichu
Pikachu Colored Pichu
Shaymin
Arceus
Deoxys
Mew
Phione
Manaphy
Darkrai
Victini
Zoura
Zoroark

Items:
Oak's Letter
Liberty Pass
Member Card
Secret Key
Enigma Stone

A Perfect Girls Night Out (or How We Were Pampered By A Band's Manager, Heard Good Music, And Met One Of The Guys From Twilight)

2 1/2 weeks.

That's how long after Becca's transplant the concert was. I really wanted her to come with me to it, so I devised a scheme to get her there. I told her we'd stay in a hotel (reduce the strain/exhaustion), and sit side stage at the show (since she was still supposed to stay away from crowds), maybe meet the band after. I didn't have any of that put in place when I'd said it. She said if it could be set up that way, she'd love to go.

About a week before the show, and just a few days after she'd been discharged from the hospital, she began having seizures and was readmitted. By that point, I'd emailed the band's manager and gotten us the hotel room. I was disappointed, but more worried about Becca. I began making alternate plans to go with my mom. Then, just a couple days before the show, Becca's doctors gave her the okay to go, as long as I was with her at all times. She was discharged from the hospital.

The day came. I met Becca and her mom at the Mall of America. Becca's mom dropped her off, and we decided to do some shopping before going to our hotel. We bought some clothes, accessories, got hand treatments at Lush, and had sushi for lunch. We finally headed to our hotel, my lovely GPS lead us to the wrong street, and we ended up lost for a bit. When we finally got there (we stayed at the Westin Minneapolis), we were floored by how swanky the place was (we'd gotten a deal on the room through the band's tour discount).

We decided a nap was in order before the show, so we indulged in cozying up in the amazing bedding. When it was time, we got up, spiffed ourselves up, and got a cab to the Triple Rock for the 100 Monkeys/The Kissing Club show. The show was AMAZING and the Monkeys' manager, Lani, was super accommodating to us. She got us a spot side stage, with a chair for Becca to sit on. After the show there was a signing, where we got to meet the band, and after everyone else went through, we got a picture with them. This is that picture:

Us and the band. Oh, and that guy to my right, the one with his arm around me? That's Jackson Rathbone, or as most people know him, the guy who played Jasper Hale (blond vampire that didn't talk much) in the Twilight Saga. Yeah, I know. :)

So after all of that excitement, we took a cab back to our hotel and headed straight to bed. It was a wonderful experience, our first REAL outing, just 2 1/2 weeks after her transplant. It was great.

More posts on the horizon, I just need time to recover from some serious busyness lately!

The Outdoors Love to Find New and Inventive Ways to Hurt Me.

Today I decided i'd had enough of laying in bed doing nothing, so I got up and prepped to go outside. I changed into more appropriate clothing and slathered on the sunscreen, then headed out the door with my net and bucket.

You see, even at 22, I still love to play in the muck. Two days ago I took my little brother tadpole hunting, and we'd started a little mini pond in a kiddie pool in our backyard. Today I wanted to go by myself so I would get to do it my way. We have at least four ponds and a river down the path by our house, so I headed out. I left my shoes home, as I didn't want to get them wet. This is where I screwed up. You see, it was 73 and sunny today, and the blacktop was extremely hot. I walked down to the river, caught soom minnows, then stopped at a couple of spots by the closest pond to catch tadpoles before heading home. I'd noticed my feet kind of hurt on my way TO the river, and by the time I was headed back home, I knew how big of a mistake i'd made.

I am now the proud owner of 2nd degree burns on both feet. I have 3 blisters that are larger than a half-dollar, and 5 more that are dime sized or less. I can't really walk and I'm attempting to use blister bandaids to cushion them. Did I mention that Becca and I will be attending a concert on July 1st? I hope these heal fast!

Life Is Looking Up :)

It really is.

Oscar is almost 100% back to normal, acting like a total spaz.

I visited Becca on Thursday, she looks amazing, but don't take my word for it, here's a picture!

Oh, and I went from being unemployed to having 2 jobs, woo!

Miracles do happen. Organ donors are true angels.

The liver was a match.

Becca went in to surgery around 7pm CDT, and should be out of surgery and transferred to the ICU within the next hour or so.

She still needs all the prayers and healing thoughts she can get, as she's not out of the woods yet, but we're all extremely hopeful!

UPDATE 8:33am CDT 06/15/11: She is awake and feeling good this morning! :)

The Call.

Just got a text from Becca.
She got "the call".
Mayo Clinic may have found her a matching liver.
I am beyond excited, and so hopeful that it is truly a match.
Please send thoughts, prayers, and all the positive vibes you can her way, she'll be needing them.

Dealing with my SECOND animal crisis this year, or, how owning a Dachshund is EXPENSIVE.

I swear, I'm cursed as far as animals go.

Last Thursday, I took my mini doxie, Oscar, to the vet. I'd found green discarge on his penis, he yelped when touched near his back end, and I worried he had a sheath infection. So off to the vet, who examines him, tries to get a urine sample (no dice) and then informs me that he's got some weakness in his back end. Okay, that was not what I was expecting. She put him on metacam and told me to call back on Monday to talk about how he's doing. Okay.

Cue Friday night. I go out to bring Oscar in (he loves the outdoors, and so he plays in the back yard during the day) and can't find him. I eventually do, hiding in the garage. I try to get him out of his hiding spot, and he starts screaming and biting me. I lost it and started sobbing, partially out of shock, pain, and knowing something is horribly wrong. I bring him inside and set him down. He attempts to go lay down, but his back legs are not cooperating. My mind reels, and I know that this is the start of a bad thing.

I calm myself enough to call the vet's office. It's 7:30pm on a Friday night, but the vet has his personal cell phone number left on the voicemail for emergencies. I call and explain what happened. He reassures me that Oscar will be fine until Monday, continue with his meds, and then tells me to take care of my wounds (Oscar broke the skin in several places when he bit me) fine.

Today comes, and I call the vet's office. I tell them Oscar has deteriorated significantly since Thursday. I ask for the soonest appointment, and it's set for 1pm. The time comes, and I load Oscar into the car, still in his bed. We get there and Dr. Rich examines him. I know what's coming, every Dachshund owner's worst nightmare, the prospect of Intervertebral Disc Disease. I voice my fears to Dr. Rich, and he agrees xrays are in order to see where the problem is.

On a bit of a side note, Dr. Rich knows I want to be a vet, and that I'm currently trying for my Animal Science degree. Because of this, he always keeps me 100% in the loop, and consults with me on care and such. He treats me like not only a customer and pet parent, but also a colleague. I see all test results, and we discuss them together. So when Oscar's xrays came back, we took a look, and though being closer to the brightness of the backlight and having a harder time seeing it originally, the problem was plain as day from my vantage point. A narrowing of the space between the L1 and L2 vertebrae. Classic IVDD.

My world collapsed a little. I knew what this meant. Oscar would need aggressive treatment if he was to regain the function he'd lost. Surgery is the best option, but unfortunately, I don't have $3000 to do that. That left only one option, steroids. We discussed outcomes and quality of life, agreeing that if he was in pain constantly, euthanasia would be the best option, but obviously we'd try what we could first. Dr. Rich said at one point that he'd like to try doing a lamenectomy sometime at their clinic. Obviously he's not a specialist, but he'd assisted on a few in vet school.

So it was that Oscar is now on steroids, in hopes he'll rally and all we'll have to do is modify what he can and cannot do, and he'll live a long, happy doxie life. Second best outcome is he'll only need a cart, and will live paralyzed but pain free. Worst outcome is he'll get worse and be in immense pain, at which point the decision will be to put him to sleep so he doesn't suffer. My mom and I talked about it, and if it comes to that point, we will offer Oscar to Dr. Rich to attempt a lamenectomy on, depending on how much it would cost. Obviously he's no expert, and hasn't ever done one himself, hasn't assisted on one in years, but if there's no other option, we'd at least give him a chance.

For now Oscar is confined to the laundry room, carried outside to go potty, and his activity is kept to a minimum. He's on prednisolone and tramadol, so every eight hours I shove a tramadol down his throat, and twice a day I do the same with the steroids. It's a pain in the ass, but I love him and would therefore do anything for him. All people entering the house are told to, under no circumstances, touch or otherwise engage the dog. Thankfully my mom and step-dad have been helping with potty breaks so that I get a break. All in all, I'm terrified, I can't lose my best buddy, I've already lost one animal that meant a ton to me this year, I don't want to lose another.

And that's been my life recently.
Prayers and healing thoughts would be much appreciated.
I hope things are going better for the rest of you.

An Update, and A Call For Prayers

First, let's talk about me. It's been almost two weeks since I posted about the Cymbalta incident, and I am still feeling the effects of that. Thankfully they are almost non-existent, but every once in a while, I notice.

I went through a very rough period after the Cymbalta incident. It seemed as if all of my medications had stopped working, and the pain was impossible to ignore, and I was not able to cope. I saw my PCP about it, and he went through his ideas for treatment with me. Most of them were medications I had previously tried that had no effect. Then he suggested raising my prednisone dose, which I told him the Mayo Rheumatologist did NOT want happening, so that was out. Finally he suggested that maybe my issues were from lack of sleep, as I hadn't slept well in months. He prescribed Valium to try and help me sleep (I can't do most actual sleep meds) and hoped that would help, otherwise we'd be back at square one.

The first couple of nights didn't work, I was taking the Valium, plus Unisom and Melatonin to try to get sleep. No dice. The third night I discont'd the Melatonin, and switched from Unisom SleepGels (diphenhydramine) to Unisom SleepTabs (doxylamine). That night I slept like a rock, had multiple dreams, and woke up the next day in complete awe of what a good night sleep could do. I hadn't felt that good in YEARS. I had energy, felt like doing things, and though I had some minor aches, they weren't even bad enough to warrant an ibuprofen. I have been feeling pretty good since, and I really hope it continues.


Now for the prayer request.
I've written about my friend Becca a few times, I met her last summer in pain rehab at the Mayo Clinic. She was diagnosed at 4 with Primary Sclerosing Colangitis. She's had two liver transplants, but is currently in need of a third. I went to visit her at the beginning of April. The first day and a half of my visit she was doing okay, and we enjoyed a wonderful warm day out. On my third day, her nausea was so overwhelming that I took her to the hospital. She was admitted, and has basically been in ever since. She was released for a day or so, only to transfer from one hospital to another that has a liver transplant clinic. She is not doing very well. Her nausea is such that she can barely eat, and they are considering putting in a feeding tube. Her quality of life right now is not so great, and I worry about her quite a bit. She is only 23 years old, and one of the most genuinely kind, caring people I have ever met. Even as sick as she is, she makes origami for other patients, and talks with them. So if you could spare a prayer, a thought, or even just some healing vibes and send them her way, that would be great.


Hope you are all well.
-Jess

Missing Meds: The effects doctors don't warn you about.

Cymbalta.
According to Wikipedia, "Duloxetine (sold under the brand names Cymbalta, Ariclaim, Xeristar, Yentreve) is a serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor manufactured and marketed by Eli Lilly. It is effective for major depressive disorder and has been shown to be as effective as venlafaxine for generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). Duloxetine alleviates pain associated with diabetic neuropathy and fibromyalgia."


True. Doctors have been pushing Cymbalta on people since it came on the market. I personally ended up on Cymbalta after the councilor I was seeing for some various family and depression issues, suggested I speak with my psychiatrist about changing medications, as he believed my Sertraline (brand name Zoloft) had become ineffective.

So I saw my psychiatrist. She agreed a med switch may make things a little easier, and suggested I go on Cymbalta. I agreed, as I had no reason to doubt her judgement. At that time she also told me she'd like to see me back in three months, but she would be switching clinics. I agreed to follow her to the new clinic.

Fast forward to Friday, April 29th. I was on my last pill of a 3 month supply. I had forgotten to make the appointment with my psychiatrist, and there were no refills on my medication. Drat. Since I'd never previously had any problem skipping a few days of meds, I decided to wait until Monday to call. Friday was also the day I went to the horse expo with my roommate, we walked three miles, and I horribly overdid things. That night I started feeling sick.

By Saturday, my sleep patterns were a bit messed up, and I was having some light dizziness and nausea. I attributed all of that to my time spent at expo. Sunday the dizziness and nausea were worse, and I could not sleep for the life of me. Every muscle felt tense and my brain felt hyperaware of the dizziness. By Monday night, I'd had enough. At 10:30pm my roommate and I took off for the emergency room. At this time I was still attributing things to my overdoing it at expo. They gave me zofran for the nausea, it did nothing. Tramadol for the pain, more nothing. They finally gave me a shot of domperidone, and that took care of the nausea. At this point, I was exhausted, but also felt like every nerve and muscle in my body was on full alert and wide awake. By the time we got home at 2am, I still couldn't sleep.

Tuesday I woke up and felt fine for the first 30 minutes of being awake, and then it all hit me at once. Dizziness, nausea, blurred vision, brain fog, hyperaware nerves, insomnia, tremors, confusion, "zaps", profuse sweating, feeling flushed, vertigo, irritability, aggression, anxiety, headache, lethargy, nightmares, extreme muscle tension. You name the symptom. I had it. I felt like I was dying. It was while looking through my pill bottles for something, ANYTHING that might work, that I came across my empty Cymbalta bottle. It was then that I put two and two together. I googled Cymbalta withdrawal. The things I read were horrific, and yet so familiar. I was never warned about any of it.

My problems did not stop there, however. I could not get my medication refilled until Wednesday, since they would have to call in to the clinic I went to. Wednesday my symptoms had increased yet again, and I was in a constant haze. My mom called me at 7:30pm saying they had my meds, and I drove the forty-five minutes home to get them. I took one at 8pm. I returned to my apartment by 9:30 and decided to have dinner. BAD IDEA. The nausea, which had been just barely tolerable, became impossible to ignore. By 11:30pm I felt so awful that I called my mother in tears, pleading for her to make it stop. After that call, I went back to my bed, across from my soundly sleeping roommate, and spent the next hour trying not to vomit.

Thankfully, at 12:30am, the medication seemed to have entered my system, and the nausea backed off enough for me to fall into a fitful sleep. I woke up at 6am and took all my medications, including a zofran. Now that the day is wearing on, and I have had 60mg of Cymbalta in my system, I am feeling much more human. Still slightly dizzy, a tiny bit nauseous, and I have a headache, but I will take that over everything I had yesterday.

So take this story as a warning, and ask your doctor if any new medications he or she prescribes to you have side effects and or cessation effects. I wish I had know, maybe I wouldn't have had to suffer.

In the hospital, but this time it's not for me.

On Monday I made the 7 hour drive to visit my friend B from PRC in Nebraska. I love coming out here because I get to spend time with B and it's really amazing having a friend that fully understands your limitations.

Monday was generally just relaxing, seeing as it was 6pm when I got there, and I drove almost non-stop. Tuesday was a beautiful day, 73 degrees and sunny with a breeze. We went to Misty's for lunch, Mondays and Tuesdays are half off any of their prime rib dishes, so I got an 8oz. slab of pure heaven. Afterwards we browsed through the haymarket area, got some ice cream, sat in the sun. It was a wonderful day. Wednesday is where the problems began. I woke up realizing we'd overdone things the day before. Becca was much worse than I was, extremely nauseated. By evening, it was apparent that the only thing that would fix it was a hospital admission for anti-nausea meds and fluids.

So that's where we are today. She was only supposed to be in overnight, but obviously things didn't go as planned. Please keep her in your thoughts, she could use 'em.

And if you find yourself in Nebraska, they are holding a fundraiser for B and her family on April 16th, info can be found here. Please pass this on to all your friends, they could use the money.

Goodbye, you obnoxious little brat.

Today I lost a dear, dear friend.

I received a call at 8:50am today. That time is burned into my mind. My friend Lori, whose house my horse is boarded at, was on the phone. She said that this morning, as they went to check on a horse of theirs, Diamond, who was in the process of dying, they'd found my horse pawing violently at the ground. She was colicking.

I told Lori I was going to finish up with chores at the place I was watching, as I was taking care of 4 horses, 2 dogs, and 8 or so cats, and then I would be out. Immediately after I got up, some unseen force urged me to skip chores and go, so I did.

I was not prepared for the sight that awaited me. As I got out of my car and walked into the yard, I noticed several things. First, my friend Lori, her daughter Ginger, who is also my friend, the vet, and the vet's assistant had all been crying. Second, I saw my sweet girl; She was trembling violently from head to hoof, breathing heavily, sweaty and caked with mud. There was a tube in her nose that went down into her stomach, which occasionally spewed gastric contents onto the ground. The vet's assistant was pressing a towel to my girl's nose, as it was bleeding.

After a talk with the vet, spending some time walking my girl around the yard, and talking with my parents, we decided the best thing was euthanasia. As the vet and her assistant prepared everything, Cocoa made her decision. She lay down on the ground, onto her side. Her breathing became ragged and her eyes closed. She was done fighting. The vet slid a catheter into her neck, and moments later, injected the solution that ended her suffering. They checked for a heartbeat once, twice. My dear friend was gone.

The vet's assistant pulled her forelock into a ponytail, and with a few snips of her shears, it was off, my last memento of a fallen friend. But it was only to get worse. The vet then moved on to getting Diamond ready for her her journey over the bridge. Diamond was sedated and brought into the yard, away from Cocoa to keep her from panicking. As my friends said their goodbyes, the vet helped Diamond on as well. And so it was that in the span of an hour, two sweet friends were gone, and three hearts were left broken.

And so may my obnoxious, bratty, naughty little pony rest in peace, her time with me too short.

Let's have a lighthearted post :)

These are the guinea pigs my roommate and I share, playing around in the bath. Feel free to repost at will :)

A Request For Prayers And Healing Thoughts For A Friend

Last night, my friend that I visited just a couple weeks ago posted that she was having a difficult night. She said she just felt "wrong" and was weak, tired, barely able to move, having trouble breathing, and in pain. She said there was nothing going on that her doctors could do anything about. 

Now, since pain rehab, and especially since I visited, I have felt extremely lucky to have her as a friend. I consider her and her mom part of my family, and they treated me as part of theirs. She is an inspiration, and even as ill as she is, she always tries to encourage others to keep going. So please, keep her in your thoughts and prayers, because it would be devastating for the world to lose such a wonderful young woman. 

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, First Week of 2011 Edition

The Good:
I left for Nebraska on New Year's Day, drove ALMOST 7 straight hours, with an hour nap at a rest stop in between. I made it safely, and was so happy to see my friend. I was only supposed to stay for two days, but I ended up staying for five. We went to various places, and she introduced me to new food, like Phở, a Vietnamese noodle soup. I even helped her treat an abscess in one of her rats. All in all, it was a great time, and I made the 7 hour trip home in one go, and got back safely.


The Bad:
When I got home, my legs were super stiff, and I was exhausted from all of the driving. I also discovered I had an abscess of my own (unrelated to me treating her rat). I also received a call today from my apartment's management company, saying I hadn't paid rent (totally forgot) and then they threatened eviction. I paid the bill online almost immediately. This was absolutely nothing, though, compared to...


The Ugly:
My first day back, I got a letter from my school. I knew it was coming, but it still hurt like nothing else. I received a one year academic suspension, effective immediately. This is because, for more than one semester, my GPA has been below 2.0. Now, I do realize that part of this is my fault, but some of it can be attributed to my health and also to some shady stuff in one of my classes, and a worthless instructor in the other. The letter stated that I could file a petition for reinstatement, but with my record, it's probably about a 10% chance they'll reinstate me. I am devastated, I have been giving it my all this year. I finished filling out the petition today, and will have to drive up and turn in it by the 12th.


All that said, I am looking forward to try #3 at having a 22nd birthday party for myself, which is going to be this Saturday. I'm hoping for good weather, and NOT another blizzard! 


Hope you are all well, Happy New Year, and I wish you guys the best!