Home for the holidays...life here is always interesting.

I've come home for the month worth of winter break from college. Though I have another final on Monday, it's in the evening, so I didn't see the point in having to stay in the dorm for another few days.

It's quite funny, I came home on Thursday, expecting to spend Friday with my mother getting ready for Christmas. However, even the best laid plans can fall apart.

Thursday night my 9 year old sister became ill. Now, vomit is something no one likes, but as an emetophobic, I do get quite irrational when someone in our house is ill. I would normally sleep in my sister's bed, as there aren't really enough beds here since I've moved out, but seeing as she'd vomited and the room had that lingering smell, well, it wasn't going to happen. I, therefore, spent a good bit of time trying to sleep on the linoleum floor of our laundry room, which also happens to be my dog's room. Needless to say my body and the floor were not making very good friends, and my little mini Dachshund kept snuggling into the sleeping bag where I thought I would squish him. I finally gave up at about 3am and moved into my little brother's lofted bed, which is like sleeping on a slightly softer floor.

Today? Did a whole lot of nothing. Went to the store to pick up electrolyte drinks, broth, and Jello for my sister, napped, and that's about all. Happy Holidays indeed.

Finals week is evil

It's 4:30am here in the frigid Midwest, and I'm still awake.
Why?

Because I have finals tomorrow. Two of them. One is bad enough, but two in one day is torture. One is comprehensive, the other only covers the past 7 lectures. I'm not sure at this point whether I should stay up, my first final is at 10am, or attempt to get an hour or two of sleep.

Either way, I'm gonna hurt later.
Gotta love college

Tragedy Poetic

I sit for a moment, taking in the staccato signals from my body to my brain. The pain weighs heavy on me tonight, one of those rare nights where it crosses the threshold from tolerable to torment. I know I'll not sleep unless I find a way to keep the neurons at bay.

I stand from my perch, coccooned in blankets at my desk. My body drags and I limp the mere feet to possible salvation. I clasp the keys in my hand and bend like the skeleton of a tree to reach the box under the chair. A small, black, unassuming case and its lock are all that stands between myself and possible freedom, at least for an hour or two.

I return to my hideaway, box in hand. Once seated I carefully meet key to lock, turning just enough to free the lid and gain access to sweet relief. I rifle through my stash - the medications I've saved for nights like this, knowing that callus, tired physicians are none too willing to prescribe some of the contents, their profession having hardened, jaded them. The labels cry out to me, familiar names, as I count the remaining pills in each bottle. A single Vicodin sits lonely in its spacious keep. A smaller bottle bares but one Valium. I spy a pair of Flexeril milling about in yet another container. These are just some of the residents in my box. The bottles all nestle together, all saviors, regardless. The rare with the readily provided, the mundane with the magnificent.

I weigh my options. The list narrows as I remove a contender due to difficulty to acquire. You'd have better chance getting a refill from the dealer on the street than a legitimate prescription. Another ticked off, not quite up to the task. I continue to weigh my options, my fields ever narrowing. At long last I decide, a contender I'd previously dismissed due to difficulty to procure.

It's nights like these that I loathe the physicians who have put down blanket rules for all patients, people they could help but won't, due to the illegal actions of the despicable souls who use the real illnesses of others as a ruse to get what they think they need.

Happy Birthday...To me.

21 years ago today I made my entrance into this world.
21 years later I've lived, I've learned, and I'm still here.
I'm looking forward to the rest of my life, day by day.
Cheers.

Let It Snow

It's snowing tonight in Minnesota.
Actually, it's been snowing all day, and it shows no signs of letting up. Schools and businesses are closing left and right. Unfortunately, college rarely gets canceled. This means I'm going to have to get my arthritic butt up at 9am and attempt to hobble to my classes without falling, hurting myself, or dislocating anything. Joy.

My whole body rebels a bit more with every degree drop in temperature.
But, that's life I guess.

Getting to do something crazy

Today I got to do something amazing.

Seeing as it's "fall", the weather changes have had me exhausted and sore, but I still try to get out every once in a while. Tonight I got to go snorkeling. I live in Minnesota, so snorkeling in November doesn't exactly seem like it would happen. I do, however, live somewhat near the Mall of America.

Underwater Adventure, the aquarium tunnel thing, has recently begun offering the chance to snorkel in their Rainbow Reef tank. Tonight that is what I did. It was amazing. Being that close to so many amazing tropical fish, getting to visit their world, the exhaustion and soreness was well worth it.

Happy holidays!

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

Figured I'd do this, to give a little more info about myself.

1. The illness I live with is: Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Hypermobility Type
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2005
3. But I had symptoms since: I can remember.
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Accepting the fact that there isn't a real treatment for this.
5. Most people assume: Nothing is wrong with me, and I complain too much.
6. The hardest part about mornings are: Just getting out of bed.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: House M.D.
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My iPod. Nothing makes me happier than music.
9. The hardest part about nights are: Trying to fall asleep when I'm in so much pain.
10. Each day I take 7-11 pills & vitamins.
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: Will try anything to ease the pain.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: Invisible.
13. Regarding working and career: College is very difficult, what with getting up early and all the walking/stairs.
14. People would be surprised to know: I was told I would never succeed in college, but so far I'm doing great.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: There are things I love that I can no longer do.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Ski.
17. The commercials about my illness: Don't exist.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Being able to run.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: My dreams of being a chef.
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Horseback riding.
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Run around, go downhill skiing, spend all day enjoying life.
22. My illness has taught me: Not to judge people so quickly.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "Did you know you parked in a handicapped space?"
24. But I love it when people: Know what my illness is, and understand.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: I am not afraid to keep on living.
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: Keep your head up, don't let this stop you from taking on the world.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: How ignorant people are.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: Let me sleep in.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I'm sick of hearing, "You don't look sick!"
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: Grateful.